Dedicated to my 2 best amigas
This is dedicated to Sarah and Becky. We hang out a lot in school and randomly other places. We play field hockey together and we act like total gooniacs when we are around one another. Here are some stories that I thought might be amusing to the general population, or at least to people who know us.
I had to put this newest story first because it will definitely never die between the three of us. Well, we went to a basketball game in Akron and we are sitting there laughing at some people who just fell up the stairs. So Becky seems to be laughing unnaturally hard and Sarah is laughing also and Becky goes, "Em, look at the cheerleaders." So I look, not really seeing anything funny and I'm just like "ok..." So she goes, "No, Emily, Look at the cheerleaders." So I look again and on the very end there is a cheerleader who only has one arm. But its not as if she is just cut off at the shoulder, no...she has this like, half arm that on me would end halfway in between my elbow and shoulder. That wasn't the funny part though. Because that would be way not cool of me to be laughing at someone's disability. But the funny part was that she was the most enthusiastic cheerleader I've ever seen in my entire life and when they did the cheers it was hilarious to watch her because her one arm and her um, half arm would be clapping together and wildly waving....it was too much for me to handle. That sounds like the meanest story in the world....
Two words: Hubba Hubba.
One night I was at Sarah's house and we decided to go online and see what was going on. We are on her screen name and this kid Ben was online. She starts talking to him and somehow he gets the impression that we were drunk. (We were 150% sober) He asked what we were drinking and we told him Dr. Pepper, which we really weren't, but he takes that as we were drinking alcohol but didn't want to tell him what. So we go off-line and decide that we want to watch a movie. But there wasn't anything at Sarah's house that we wanted to watch, and as neither of us can drive, we were sort of stuck. So I call Ben. Now I've met Ben a total of once and I don't think I'd even talked to him then. So I call his house, and talk to him (he still thinks I'm drunk) and ask him to go to Blockbuster, get us a movie and then bring it to the house. But he can't. So we con a 9th grader to bring us a movie from his house. Then we get some good food and eat it in front of him. Then afterwards, Sarah and I went back online and start talking to random people. All is quiet in the house and all of a sudden, Sarah belts out on the top of her lungs "ME ME ME ME ME", the song like thing. So starts the whole "mememememe" saga....
One night Sarah, Becky and myself were going to attend a boys soccer game (for some unknown reason......) but Becky needed to go to her house and change first. So we all go to her house and Sarah and I are sort of standing in the doorway and Becky calls over her dog so he can "meet" us. He lays down on the ground in front of us, at which point Becky gets all excited and is like, "He's rolling over!! Look, he's rolling over!!" Then the dog gets up and moves and you hear Becky say, "He peed!!" It was the funniest thing because he was never rolling over, he was just taking a whiz.
So we decide that we need to go to Salvation Army to get some new duds and such. But we can't go to the one near us, oh no, that would be way to easy. We need to go to the one about 40 minutes away. So we finally get there and its raining, but still semi warm. We go inside and are fooling around and find some real snazzy, very '80's dresses that we are going to try on. The dressing rooms in this particular Salvo's was nothing more than a curtain with some pieces of wood in between. It was really weirdo. So Sarah walks into one, and I'm about to go in and leave Becky all by herself outside. But then I look over and see them. The Crazy Mexicans/Indians/whatever they were. But they were staring right at us. I mean STARING. It was so weird. So we get all like, "Sarah, get out of there!!" Sarah decides that she wants to buy something, so we go up to the counter and the lady is standing there staring out the window for about 2 minutes while we just stand there waiting for her to serve us. During this time, the Mexicans had gotten a teddy bear and were waving the arm at us and smiling/laughing/staring. Sarah throws her money at the lady and we run out of there like morons. We get to the car and lock the doors. So, we decide to try and find Goodwill. We first found a Fashion Bug and we went and bought some stuff. Then we see Goodwill. So we go in, joking about how crazy it would be if those guys were here again. We all do a search with our eyes when we first walked in just to reassure ourselves that they weren't here. We start browsing, with Becky in the lead, then Sarah, then myself. We get to pretty much the back of the store, with Becky about 20 feet in front of both of us. Sarah and I both look up at the same time and who do we see, but the crazy Mexicans! We bolted out of there like effin' cheetahs on speed. That was the scariest day of my life. (Not including the "dale incident".)
One time Sarah and Becky went to a basketball game that I didn't attend for some reason. Well the next day they told me about this kid who goes by "Zack Hill". He was on the opposite team. Now apparently he was one piece of major eye candy. But I had my doubts in what they were saying. They think a lot of boys are attractive that I just don't. So I agree to go to the next game when we were to play Akron and oh my oh my. Zack Hill was amazingly hot. Like, hotter than effin boiling water hot.
3rd period, Becky, Sarah and myself have study hall and our monitor is our 9th grade English teacher. Now I swear to God this guy was a hippy during that era and still smokes up now. I would bet money on it. Well there used to be this girl Courtney in our class but after the first semester, she moved back to her old school. So we are sitting in class one day at the end of February and SillickJ says "Is Courtney absent today?" And I say, "Um, she moved back in January." He just looks at me with this look on his face like he wanted to cry and says in this really really sad voice, "She moved? Why didn't anybody tell me?"
This is another study hall story. So Jeffy Brown sits with us. And we play truth or dare with him, but really its just "make Jeff do stuff". So one day we tell Jeffy to fall in front of the class. And he reluctantly agrees. He says, I'll be right back. And we're like ok, and while he's gone we're talking about how we think he's just gonna pull some lame ass stunt and just like, barely trip and fall on his knees or something. All of a sudden, we hear the hugest, loudest bang ever. I turn around to see Jeff Brown laying flat on his face after like, running full force into the door and the door swung back to hit him again. It was the funniest thing ever... and Mr. Sillick is just like, "are you all right?" and Jeff goes, Um, yeah, I tripped. Seriously, we were laughing hysterically and Mr. Sillick was like, glaring at us because he thought it was so mean that we were laughing.
When Becky and Sarah and myself went to Goodwill (see Crazy Mexican story above), we were stopped at an intersection. Now, for the life of me, I can't remember why, but Becky was trying to beep her horn. Well, she goes to hit it, and she hits it so hard, that it falls off. Seriously, the front panel of her steering wheel, just fell off and was connected by some wires.
Sometimes on Thursdays, we'll go around the school and collect the recycling from the classrooms. Now to do this, you have to push around this huge blue bin. Well, for some reason, we thought it would be a really good idea for Becky to get inside of this bin, and I'd push it around. Now, this bin is all ready full of papers and stuff to begin with, so its kinda heavy.. and when Becky got in, it wasn't too much heavier but it just made it kind of unsteady. So I'm pushing it down the hall, and the lid is open and we see Mrs. Kibler coming. So, we keep going and the bin becomes kind of unsteady for a second and it leans back too far. I didn't realize to begin with how close to the ground the edge of the lid was, but now, as I am stepping on it, I realize it. And the bin falls over. Now, in my attempts to save Becky's life, we both fall on the ground, papers go flying everywhere, and Becky rips her pants. And we just sit there laughing as people come rushing out of classrooms to see what all the ruckus is. All in all, a pretty funny day.
My study hall teacher is a bozo. He complains everyday that we are too loud because we have no work to do. So, one day we decide to start playing cards. We play Harry Potter Uno, Bullshit, Go fish... dumb stuff like that. It kept us quiet, so he didn't complain too much. Minus that one day when he yelled at us super loud to "stop having fun!!" Well, normally there is about 8 people in that study hall, but today the library was closed and there was probably 15 or 16 people in there. Keep in mind that we are all seniors. Well, as usual, Becky and I have no work to do and start playing cards. We are playing war, which is quite possibly the most harmless card game in the world. So he tells us to stop... then eventually takes the cards away and writes us up. But he left 10 cards sitting right on our desks, as well as the Harry Potter Uno Cards. So then the bell rings and he stops Becky and I and says, "This is only the 2nd time this year I've had to write someone up." We just look at him. He says ,"If you don't have work to do, invent something to do." So we're like, OK... I'll just go home tonight and dream up some more homework to do. He then proceeds to tell us that we should "Bring a book to class and we could act it out." This is effin study hall!! So we just look and him and walk away. But now that he said it, I think we should do it and just take the whole thing insanely too far. We should choose something that would take large, large props and has fighting ninja scenes and elaborate costumes. And practice super loud. Yeah.
Update: Mr. Sillick, the above studyhall teacher, passed away this fall. He was honestly a really good guy and he's going to be missed by a lot of people. Rest In Peace, Sir.