So, I was just realizing the other day that a lot of really random and funny things happen to me throughout a day. So I decided that I want to write them all down. Now you may read this and say "Em, that isn't funny at all." But to me and/or the other people this happened to, it is. So shut yo mouth fool.
WOOHOO!! IT'S STORY TIME!!!
Here are some stories of my life. Some are funny. Some are not so funny. But they are all very true and funny to the people they happened to. So enjoy. There will be more added as I think of them. I'll probably change them all randomly, so keep checking back.
During homecoming this year at my school, we decided to "corkyfy" my school. By "we" I mean Staira, Crimp n' Curl, Baked Bean, and Spamily. We had a HUGE "You guys want some cookies? Who is Corky Romano?" sign and hung it up across the gym and photocopied little posters with the Corkster on it and plastered the school. Then we proceeded to pretend to not know who did all this. But when we saw that someone was against this "corkyfication", all Hell broke loose and pretty soon everyone knew who was behind this brilliance. We made sure that Corky made his presence known. The authority figures in the school may have won the battle, but at the pep assembly, Corky Romano definitely won the war.
I asked Becky to send me some pictures of Bean and her and Sarah. She sent this picture from after a field hockey game and apparently the JV team had already taken the field. She caught a very special person in the picture. That's why this picture is so fantastic. I don't even think Becky knows that Chuckie is in the picture. Another reason that it is so cool.
This isn't a weird story but it is sort of ironic. My friend Angela is nicknamed Spamgela, just because of her deep love for that wonderful canned food. One day at field hockey, Baked Bean (pictured above) started calling me Spamily, for God knows what reasons. And the name has stuck. To the point where it is my alternate persona. Who knows what this world is coming to......definitely not me.
One time, Vicki and Whitney and myself went on an excursion to Wal-Mart. Upon leaving the store parking lot, we saw a car that we mistakenly recognized as a coworker of ours. As we look into the back of the car, there is the most sinister looking clown mask one has ever seen. I mean this thing was seriously down right creepy, but still mighty funny. So anyway, we had assumed that this car belonged to Rachel and since she is a professional clown, this just seemed to make us believe it more. So Vicki whips out her camera and we take some snapshots of this clown face. In this process we are all over the car to get in different positions and we are planning out an entire rec. period for our newfound friend. We later found out that this car was not in fact Rachel's, consequently making it a VERY good thing that we didn't actually get inside of the car to take pictures as we had earlier contemplated.
(above picture stolen from Vicki)
This morning I was talking to Pat and he told me about this girl he met and asked me if I knew anyone from Ken-East. I was like, yep. And he told me this girl's name was Dawn. Now the first thing that popped into my mind was "Pony Girl". Then I thought , 'no way...it can not be one in the same.' So I asked him to describe her. He says, "Blonde hair, 5'4"ish, pretty." It was so her. I started laughing so hard. Then I remember when someone from that team called Abby (I think it was Abby) a "stupid monk". It is stories like this that almost makes me miss field hockey.
(SIDE NOTE: A couple weeks ago I met a girl who plays field hockey for Ken-East and she told me that 'stupid monk' is the name of one of their plays.... but that kind of makes this story not funny anymore, so I like to believe that she was calling names still)
This is the story of how we became acquainted with Dale. One day Vicki, Angela and myself decided to make a quick run to Wal*Mart. It was a little bit late in the night, but we thought we could make it in pretty good time. So we go and as we are leaving the store, a pay phone by the door rings. Being the good citizen that she is, Vicki answers the phone and proceeds to have a conversation with the person on the other end. I will tell you now what Angela and I heard:
"Hello?.....No, this isn't Cayla....I don't think there is anyone named Cayla around....No, I'm the only one here.....I mean, there are lots of people around...." Then we see her put the phone down, not hang it up, just set it on the ledge of the phone booth thing and I assume that she is going to look for Cayla and she turns to Angela and myself and says "Guys, I'm scared. Let's go." So we practically run to her car, hearing the other phone ringing, and when we get there we lock the doors and close the windows even though it is the middle of summer. We start to leave and are having all these crazy thoughts about some stalker in the parking lot when we realize there is a car behind us. We start driving back to camp and the car is still behind us and so Vicki turns down a side road. We finally decide it is safe to resume on our trek back to camp and we make it to the thruway and it is empty. We are driving and see there is one car ahead of us....and as we get closer we realize it is at a dead stop in the middle of the road. And Vicki says "How did he know we were coming?!?!?!" Everything that was scary from that point on during the summer, was automatically Dale. He was one creepy fella, that Dale.
Have you ever been hungry and decided to go to Dairy Queen? Well, so have Vicki and I. One night we decided to head there before going back to camp and we both order a blizzard thing. Mine was with M&M's and hers with Reeses Pieces or something like that. Anywho, Vicki ordered hers first, then I ordered mine. But they brought mine first and were like, "M&M Blizzard" and reached out to hand it to me. I reach my hand out to grab it, but before I could, they flipped it upside down, and then right side up again. Now I stand there thinking I imagined this and I look at Vicki who is obviously as confused as I am. I am thinking that this person is just a weirdo or something and we wait for them to bring Vicki's order. And they reach out to give it to her and do the same thing. Now we make it out of the doors all right, but the second we get out there, we look at each other and start laughing so hard we could barely make it to her car. I mean, I am not exaggerating when I say we were seriously about to pee our pants. I don't even know why we thought this was so funny and looking back at it now, I am laughing just thinking about it. But that had to be one of the funniest things I have ever experienced.
One day, Becky and Sarah and myself, along with a number of other members of the student body, decided to go to the basketball game. One such member of the student body is Mr. Aaron Stopa. This kid is hilarious. So first of all, he's walking down the bleachers and grabs the handrail and the bottom part of it breaks off and makes the loudest noise ever. So he's spazzing out about that. Then he decides he wants to make a jackass of himself. He gets up, starts running across the gym floor, pretends to trip on a shoelace and falls flat on his face and slides a few feet on his stomach. He then proceeds to get up and walk off the court like nothing happened. But then he gets back to the bleachers and is like, "Guys, I think I bruised my hip..."
One day during field hockey practice, I had to get suited up and was sent to the goal to do my warmups. J got all the other offensive and defensive players into doing some sort of passing drill and about 45 minutes later, I was still there by my lonesome doing dumb drills. So I decided to take a nap until I was needed. Well, Kristen was doing the same thing at the opposite goal so she decides to come over and join me. Then Becky came over and sat beside me. So I'm laying behind the goal, and Becky is sitting right next to me, and Kristen is sitting on the back of the goal. We are watching J show some girl how to do a flick pass or something like that and he slips and almost falls. All three of us bust out laughing and J turns and smiles at us. All of a sudden, he comes running full force at us and we figure its to yell at us for laying down. But he just keeps running and grabs the top of the goal to stop himself, but he just kept swinging into the goal, so he lets go and he ends up with his butt in between the board and the net, almost succeeding in knocking the entire goal over. Despite the fact that we call could have potentially died, it was the funniest field hockey moment EVER!!
So, my nephew, Logan, cracks me up. This kid is seriously hilarious. He has discovered cat food and likes to snack on it at every opportunity he gets. Not only that, but he always sees us washing our hands in the sink, so he finds it necessary to wash his hands. But he's too short to reach the sink. So he uses the cat's water bowl. His newest thing though, is the funniest. He likes to take his pacifier thing, and dip it in the potted plant soil, and put it in his mouth... like its a FunDip or something. So funny.
Today for Mother's Day, my mom wanted to go for a family breakfast thing at Cracker Barrel. Now, I'm not such a big fan of that particular restaurant, but I thought I'd grin and bear it. So, we get there and find out there is a 30 minute wait. All right.. I can deal. But then there are some random, like, 80 year old guys who start singing songs like its an effin campfire or something. And they won't stop. So, I'm like, dude I can't handle this. They don't stop until about 5 minutes before we left after eating. Seriously, it was insanity. And the worst part was that we didn't even get to sit at the cool table with the old school field hockey sticks. But on the good side, the grape soda rules there.
So, one day I rode the bus home from school. And I'm standing in the front getting ready to get off the bus, and this girl in front of me starts talking to the bus driver. There are some Barbies and GI Joe's sitting on the front panel thing, that a little kid probably left on the bus sometime. So this girl goes, "Bob, you like playing with Barbies?" And he goes, "Yeah, it gives me something to play with while I'm not driving... other than myself."